It seems my husband has a dubious relationship with an over 60-year-old white lady. I heard him saying to her “I love you” and I queried why?
My husband said, “These are whites and this is the language they like. I do not mean it. I look after her as an old lady and she helps me out when I have problems”.
I did not understand this. The other time he was assuring this old lady that he was happy that she belonged to him. I was so upset and asked him akati aiwa kukanganisa. Hatisati tachata izvozvi because my husband is saying we should go and wed in Botswana but we are both Zimbabweans.
As I write this to you I caught him red-handed texting chembere iyoyo kuti cannot wait to move in and stay with you. I asked him again and he said kungonyora because she helps me when I am not financially stable.
I once saw this lady coming out of my husband’s office and was so hurt I wanted to phone this lady after I saw the text that they are going to move in together he threatened me akati ukangozviita tinonetsana unoda kuuraya madhiri angu.
He insists that this old lady is lonely and needs comfort. Please amai advise me. I will do whatever it takes to save my marriage. I love my husband. Ndizvo zvinoita kuroorwa here izvi ndibatsireiwo?
MAI CHISAMBA RESPONDS
I get hundreds of letters from people in and out of Zimbabwe but this is among the saddest I have ever received.
As a mother and fellow woman I feel for you. The world has gone to the dogs, our children have lost their pride. How can he sink so low?
You recently got married, I just do not understand why he committed himself.
According to tsvakiridzo there are so many young Zimbabwean men staying with very old ladies in the name of love.
Most of these guys are lazy and greedy, they do it for money, food and cars. In your husband’s case this woman is old enough to be his granny or even older. It is taboo in our culture mwana anoona chembere yakadai isina kupfeka haana matyira.
I smell a rat. You have to move fast and check why he wants your wedding to be solemnised in Botswana — he could be secretly married to this mbuya.
In my view this guy may be double-crossing you and that is why he does not want you to talk to this old woman.
If mbuya is rich he may be after her estate.
How can he lie and say he is just pulling her leg with all those love chats? My advice is talk to the old lady if you have tangible proof.
She must know that this guy is married. Tell her you do not approve of their arrangements of moving in together or the way they address each other.
It is wrong for your husband to threaten you. Madhiri api ekuti kumunhu I love you? These love triangles are very dirty and risky; people end up with STIs.
He is sacrificing his family for money instead of protecting you always. Seeing that you are only 20 maybe your tetes from both your families can intercede.
To your husband I say: please do not treat your wife like trash do not spoil it for your baby who is on the way.
It is also cruel to mislead this mbuya. If need be, engage a professional counselor to assist you. Mari netunonaka zvinopfuura asi rudo neruremekedzo rwemhuri yako chaiyo zvinogara nekusingaperi. I would want to hear from you again. I wish you all the best.