My situation is far worse than some of the issues you have addressed. In 2013 I got pregnant and confronted the guy responsible and he refused it was his, he did not want anything to do with the pregnancy. Out of pain, anger and frustration I set up another guy and he took on the responsibility. This guy has been taking good care of us and has been there for me and the child ever since. In a twist of events, the child’s real father traced me to where I am staying now. He says we either get back together or anoita chivanhu chekuti mwana anondinetsa zvekutadza kumuchengeta.
The child at the centre of all this is a lovely boy who was born in mid-2014. The child has bonded well with the second guy although we are not married. I did not even tell the real father that the child already has a birth certificate. I am so confused, I do not even know where to start, how do I tell this guy who has been there for us? I have not told anyone so far because I fear resentment kumwana. Please assist.
MAI CHISAMBA RESPONDS
Thank you for reading my column and for writing in. I am glad you are learning a lot and some of the lessons to be drawn from here are to be true to yourself and to other people. I will be very honest with you, what you have done is cruelty at its worst. We are talking about an innocent child who looks up to his mother as a role model, please do not destroy him at such a tender age. Today Mr A is dad tomorrow things change and Mr B becomes dad, what on earth are you trying to do?
Setting up a guy when you are already pregnant and you truly know that it is not his is evil to say the least. You are a very selfish and self-centered woman. When you played all these tricks, all you wanted to do was to save your face.
What do you think will happen to this guy’s emotions, what about his family and the joy they experienced when they were told about the boy’s birth? Do you think even the real father will be amused when he hears all this?
Do you see any of these two guys wanting to be associated with a person like you afterwards? It is a very small world, your son may not know what is going on now because of his age but achazvinzwa chete akura. I do not understand what your intention was when you crafted all this because even the guy you set up did not marry you although he stood by your side all the way.
You can never lead a normal life with such a guilty conscience. My advice is for you to press rewind titangire kwazvakatangira. You have to tell the guy you set up the truth, but you cannot be trusted either, maybe you do not know who the real father is. The best is to take the child for DNA tests and establish the truth. Zvechivanhu zviri kutaurwa could be just an arm twisting tactic. Clear your conscience even if it means losing both guys.
The real father wants you back ko vakambenge vaendepi? What a coward, he ran away when the going was tough, now the playground is level he is in love with you again. Be careful you may end up with a second unplanned baby.